艾德！让汤姆拉德加入 现在 Ed! Get Tom Rudd in. Now.
我们给他北爱尔兰 这个幸运的蠢货 We're offering him Northern Ireland, the lucky sod.
我认为他更希望掌管交通部 I think he's expecting to be offered Transport.
好吧 告诉他可以掌管去机场的大巴 对吗？ Well, tell him he's taking the bus to George Best airport, right?
他想让保罗雷明顿当内阁大臣 He's making Paul Remington a cabinet minister.
是里塔德雷明顿 他是个超级混蛋 Remtard Remington. I mean, the guy is an epic fuck-up.
他太蠢了 灯光都能让他团团转 He's so dense that light bends around him.
大家好！我们来讨论一下 (CLAPS) Come on, people! Let's get going here.
我会列一个要做的事情的单子 I've got a to-do list here
这个单子比列奥纳多科恩的歌还他妈的长（歌手） that's longer than a fucking Leonard Cohen song.
-里塔德去能源和气候变化部 -真的吗？我还不知道呢 - Remtard at Energy and Climate Change. - Really? I'm not getting that.
这不是重点 你怎么知道是雷明顿的？ It's not on here. How did you get that about Remington?
网页刷新一下 Refresh the page.
哦，是的，哦，看！ Yeah. Ah, yeah. Oh, look!
肥仔还在 他们是不会调动肥仔的 Fatty's staying put. They're not moving Fatty!
因为没有五个大家伙和起重机 调不动 Yeah, well, that's because they haven't got five big blokes and a winch.
他们不会提拔肥仔因为他知道得太多了 They couldn't really demote Fatty 'cause he knows too much.
他不知道薄脆饼干在哪放着 对吧 He doesn't know where the Ryvita's kept, does he?
我还要继续弄这个重组的事情 I've got this reshuffle going on,
利明顿的选举要来了... the Leamington Spa by-election coming up...
我要应付的事情比老处女的婚礼要弄的事还多 I've got more on my plate than a spinster at a wedding.
我不是在指你女儿哈 安德鲁 That wasn't a reference to your daughter, by the way, Andrew.
啊 休离职了 Well. That's Hugh gone, then.
-好悲催啊 休 -是啊 - That's so sad, isn't it? Hugh. - GLENN: Yeah.
其实你一点都不在乎 You don't give a shit.
我确实不在乎 No, well, perhaps I don't.
北爱尔兰办公室 汤姆拉德 谁是汤姆拉德？汤姆拉德？ Northern Ireland office, Tom Rudd. Who's Tom Rudd? Tom Rudd?
是哈利波特里的人吗？ Isn't he in Harry Potter?
汤姆拉德是一个军队暗语 Tom Rudd is army slang
-意思是站着强奸男人 -好吧 - for standing-up buggery. - OLLY: Right.
道格 道格 小道格 看看你 Doug, Doug, Dougie! Look at you,
神气得像竖起尾巴的粉红豹 cock the size of the Pink Panther's tail.
来吃一块巧克力 Come have a Kit Kat.
哦 不好意思我不要 马尔科姆 Uh, I'm afraid I've turned it down, Malcolm.
你知道百分之九十的家庭灰尘是死人的皮吗？ You know that 90% of household dust is made of dead human skin?
对我来说 你就是一张死人皮 That's what you are. To me.
让道格海耶斯来 这个计划流产了 我不是说你女儿 Doug Hayes is a massive abortion. Again, not a reference to your daughter.
我们需要一个人来堵住这个Dosac文件的窟窿 随便一个人 We need somebody to plug this DoSAC hole. Anybody.
随便一个长着脑袋的哺乳动物都行 A fucking mammal with a head.
你们两个擦完桌子了吗？ Have you two finished emptying your desks yet?
擦完了 不用担心 泰瑞 我们准备好离职了 Yes, don't worry, Terri, we're all ready to go.
我想知道谁会来 什么时候来 I'm just trying to get everything organised for whenever whoever arrives.
来的人会带来自己的人马 They are going to have their own people.
如果抽屉里落下了你的护手霜就很尴尬了 It's going to be very embarrassing if your hand cream's still in the drawer.
-护手霜？-就是不要落下你们男人用的东西 - Hand cream? - Yeah, well, whatever men have.
电动剔鼻毛器那类的 I don't know, electric nose-hair trimmers, Ex-Lax...
嗷 看格伦 你的脸 Aww, look at Glenn. Your face...
从即将76岁的废物堆里走出来？ On the scrapheap at the tender age of 76?
这不是你的生活啊 格伦 对吧 It's no life for you, is it, Glenn, this?
你要我给“尊严”打电话吗 （临终关怀服务的公益组织） Hey, do you want me to call Dignitas?
我会给“没有尊严”打电话 I could call Indignitas.
他们会把你装扮成一个小丑推出窗外 They could come round and shove you out of the window dressed as a clown.
萨姆 萨姆 Sam, Sam...
让尼克拉莫莉来吧 Get me Nicola Murray. Yeah.
如果她拒绝 那剩下的候选人 If she says no, well, I don't know, the only other candidate
就是我用笑脸堆起来的骂人面孔了 is my left bollock with a fucking smiley face drawn on it.
女士们先生们 请允许我介绍 新来的... Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce the new Secretary of State...
-你好 -社会事务部的部长 - Hello. ...for the Department of Social Affairs
-尼克拉莫莉 -谢谢 - and Citizenship, Nicola Murray. - NICOLA: Thank you.
翻译：金汐
我是尼克拉 很高兴见到你 I'm Nicola. Lovely to meet you.
-你好，很高兴见到你 -你好 - Hello. Lovely to meet you. - Hello, hi.
-你好，我是格伦卡伦 -你好肯恩 很高兴认识你（部长听错了） - Hello, I'm Glenn Cullen. - Hello Ken. How lovely to meet you.
他们都是休的 呃 These are just Hugh's, um,
-前任的现任下属 -知道了 - previous incumbents. - Oh, okay.
-你俩就是肯恩和欧利？-不 是格伦 - So, that's Ken and Olly? - No, Glenn.
-欧利里德 -你是欧利还是奥利佛？ - Olly Reeder. - Right. Are you an Olly or an Oliver?
您喜欢哪个就是哪个 I'm whichever you prefer, in fact.
-好吧 奥利佛 我喜欢奥利佛这个名字 Okay, well, Oliver. I like the name Oliver.
哦 其实 我是欧利 Well, Olly. I don't know...
-哦，你是欧利 -我不知道为什么我刚才要那样说 - Oh, you are an Olly. - I don't know why I said that.
-谢谢 -不客气 - Thank you. - Good.
我是出主意的人 - I'm the ideas man. - (MOBILE RINGING)
不好意思 我要去...谢谢 稍等片刻 Sorry. I've got to... Thank you. Just need one second.
-呃 -你懂得 - Um... - Yes, I know.
他们逼着我来的 They just... They frog-marched me into it.
我不知道 我完全一头雾水 I didn't know. I had no idea.
詹姆斯 公平点 我他妈给你发了七条短信 James, be fair! I left seven fucking messages for you.
你的秘书 你周围的人都是废物 Your secretary or whoever is useless.
我不认为学校的事情会是一个麻烦 I don't think the school thing is going to be a problem.
因为他们已经政审过了 It's not going to be a problem 'cause they'll have vetted me at Number 10.
而且很显然没有人向我泼脏水或针对我 And obviously nobody has soiled themselves or shot me.
好极了 我把你的“热烈”欢迎当成一个暗示 Great, well, I take your warm congratulations as implied.
妈的 混蛋 (SOFTLY) Fucking arsehole.
-您没事吧？-没事 就是有点抓狂 - You all right? - Yes, it's all a bit crazy.
就像烟雾警报一直在脑子里响 No, it just feels like my head's made entirely of smoke alarms
现在 有点... at the moment, it's all a bit...
(BOTH LAUGHING)
好吧 确实会有点惊讶 我们所有人都是 Yes, well, it was a bit of a shock for us all, you know.
-是的 -是对好事情的那种惊讶 - I'm sure. - In a good way, in a good way.
-好吧 -就像生了双胞胎或者得到了退税那种惊讶，或者... - Good. - Well, like twins or a tax rebate or...
好吧 咱们继续参观办公室 Yes, let me continue with the tour.
-这椅子不错啊 -这是格伦的办公室 - That's such a nice chair. - This was Glenn's office.
我能有一个那样的椅子吗？ Is there any chance of getting something like that?
你想让我把椅子搬到你办公室吗？ TERRl: Would you like me to have it moved to your office?
那样就太好了 那你帮我搬吧 奥利... NICOLA: That'd be great. Can you do that? Right. Ollie...
-欧利 -格伦和欧利 - Olly, that's right. - Glenn and Olly,
我需要从你那里知道一些 what I need to know from you, really, is
泰瑞不会告诉我的事情 all the stuff that Terri's not going to tell me.
一些她隐瞒我的事情 -那有很多哦 - The stuff she's gonna keep from me. - GLENN: Huge list.
-例如 尸体都埋在哪里 -是的 瘟疫坑 OLLY: Where the bodies are buried. NICOLA: Exactly. Yes, the plague pits.
这种大的硬纸箱 装着以前部长的那些东西 The, you know, big cardboard boxes full of bits of old junior minister.
我正要去做一些 文件分类 I'll just go and sort out that policy digest.
很好 NICOLA: Lovely.
城市的美化是一个脓疮 Urban renewal is a bit of a running sore.
-为什么这么说？-因为庞杂（多毛）而模糊 - In what way? - Well, it's very woolly and big.
听起来像一只猛犸象 Sounds like a mammoth.
(ALL LAUGHING)
好吧 所以 Right. Okay, so, um...
我最主要的事情是...进来说 um, my Big Thing... Come in, actually.
来我办公室 暂时没有地方可坐 也没法放东西 Come into my office with nowhere to sit or put anything.
我现在最主要的精力放在社会流动性上 My primary focus is social mobility.
-那是非常重要的 -是的 - That's very much my Big Thing. - OLLY: Right.
我希望我告诉你们之后 I suppose I'm telling you that, really,
你们也能参与进来 然后 partly to get your take on it and also so that you can, you know,
传播一些新闻或者印一些宣传页什么的 start spreading the news and printing the posters.
给引擎点火加油 And, you know, fire up the turbo chargers,
实现平稳过渡 这是莫莉的时代了 set the phases to equality. It's Murray time!
问题是 欧利 如果我哪里不对请指出来 Well, the thing is, and Olly, please, correct me here if I'm wrong.
好的 我肯定会 Oh, I will certainly do that.
社会流行性让人们更富有 却需要很多钱 Social mobility, making people richer, costs money.
是的 而我们实际上没有什么钱 OLLY: Yes, and we don't have any of that, really.
是 Right.
如果你跟财政部的尼克说 If you speak to Nick at the Treasury he will tell you the same,
他会用他那含糊不清的口条 也这么说 only with his annoying lisp.
你们是说 我其实只是一个有 What you're telling me is that basically I'm going to be a woman
一台电脑和几支笔的女人吗 with a computer and some pens?
-对啊，就是纸上谈兵 -我是说我知道实际的权力 - Well, it's just a pen budget. - I mean I have about as much real power
在那些坐在艾伦休格那样桌子的混蛋们那里 as those twats who sit on either side of Alan Sugar?
是这样 Well... Yes.
部长 给您选了一些衣服 Secretary of State, we have got some clothes for you to look at
-一会拍照用 -哦 - for a press photograph later. - NICOLA: Oh!
-我们晚点再聊这个 -好的，我可以去找您 - We can continue this later, maybe? - Yeah. Definitely. I'll come find you.
-您穿16码吗？-我穿12码 - You're a size 16? - I'm 12.
哦抱歉 我这就去换 Oh, 12. I'm so sorry. Well, I'll get those changed right away.
现在我这没人 At the moment I've got nobody at all,
那些休的下属 um, apart from Hugh's guys, who are
都他妈的自视甚高 冷漠 just kind of so fucking patronising and cold.
而且其中的一个穿得跟在百货店里男装区工作一样 Seriously, one of them looks exactly like he works in menswear at Selfridges.
我他么都不知道能跟他说啥 (CHUCKLES) I don't know what the fuck to say to him.
-部长？-什么事？ - Secretary of State? - Yes?
-您的水果沙拉 -啊，太好了，谢谢你 - Your fruit salad. - Ah, brilliant. Thank you.
我刚接到了几个媒体的电话 Oh, I've just had a couple of press calls.
几个报纸想问关于您的丈夫和PFI的问题 A couple of the papers asking about your husband and the PFI.
这就开始了？天啊 他们为什么这么关注这个 Already? My God. They're so... They're so on it.
您要给我一个简要的说明吗？ - Aren't they? - Could you brief me?
其实根本就没什么 詹姆斯是在奥尔巴尼工作 Yes, sorry. It's honestly nothing. James works for Albany,
那个公司被判决违反了监狱PFI合同 which is the company that was awarded the PFI prisons contract
-是被我们的部门判定的 -对，我记得 - by this department. - Yes, I remember.
我知道听上去很不妙 但是当这个判决生效的时候 I know that sounds bad, but actually James wasn't at Albany
詹姆斯还不在那里工作 我也不在这里工作 when the contracts were awarded and I wasn't here, so...
-也许，呃... -这并不涉及利益之争 所以 - Yeah, maybe, um... - It's not a conflict of interest, so...
我想您应该跟马尔科姆谈谈这个 I think you could just run that by Malcolm.
-他正在来的路上 -不想跟他谈 他... - He's on his way. - Not Malcolm. He's...
-他在哪里？已经来了？-是的，他会在25秒后到达 - What now? Coming in? - Yes, he'll be up in 25 seconds.
靠！好吧 Okay. Fuck. Right.
马尔科姆塔克 马尔科姆塔克 马尔科姆塔克 So, Malcolm Tucker, Malcolm Tucker, Malcolm Tucker!
马尔科姆...我不是紧张 我只是 Malcolm... I'm not nervous, you know, it's just...
马尔科姆是那种 我不太想去 Malcolm's sort of one of those things that I'm aware of
接触的那类事物 without ever having really come into contact with.
-像一只老鼠 -他不会喜欢这个比喻的 - Um, like a rat. - No, he'd hate that.
他认为他自己是一个瘦白版的穆加贝 （津巴布韦统治者） He thinks of himself as a sort of thin white Mugabe.
你也这么认为吗？ Do you think?
如果你担心马尔科姆 Because if you are worried about Malcolm, you know,
我们总结了一些经验 we have amassed a few tips
这些年来关于如何跟他打交道的经验 how to deal with him, over the years.
这是当他在喷我们的时候总结出来的 We have worked out when he's going to give you a verbal colonic
还有一些闪躲的技巧 and some, you know, avoidance manoeuvres.
（跆拳道）回旋踢！ Tae kwon spin!
这是第一女部长的办公室吗？ Is this the No.1 Ladies' Detective Agency?
马尔科姆塔克！终于见面了 你好 Malcolm Tucker! The real deal. Hello.
-你好 很高兴见到你 -你看上去很不错 The real deal. Good to see you. You're looking great.
很好 脚手架伺候 该是时候挫挫你的锐气了 All right, Hinge and Bracket, time to go and hang up your lady-cocks.
尼克拉莫莉 Nicola Murray! Here you are, Secretary of State
社会事务部的部长 for the Department of Social Affairs and Citizenship.
我现在有了西方政治界最长的头衔 Yep, I now have one the of the longest job titles in Western politics.
幸好我不用佩戴一个胸章 Thank God I don't have to wear a lapel badge.
很抱歉我们不能给你弄一个缩写 像PFI那样的缩写 It's a pity we couldn't just make an abbreviation of it, you know, like PFI.
PFI 是 特别操蛋的尴尬 缩写 Which I think stands for Pretty Fucking Embarrassing.
如果你还对细节毫不在意 If you're a bit sloppy about the details,
关于你那个傻逼丈夫的细节 which clearly your fucking husband is.
听着 詹姆斯是在奥尔巴尼工作 Okay, look. James works for Albany, fine.
但是这个判决生效的时候 他还没去那里 He wasn't even working there when the contract was awarded.
-不用担心 这只是我在问 -好吧 - Don't worry. That was just me - Okay, right. Fine.
我是说 这就是媒体报纸会问你的事情 I mean, that's the sort of thing the press will throw at you.
他们会一直追着你 I mean, you step out of line, they'll be all over you.
像跟着碎屑的鸽子一样追着 懂吗？这是你的椅子？ Like a pigeon on a chip, you know? Is that your chair?
-挺好看的 对吧？还能给腰椎提供支撑 Oh, God, yeah. It's cool, isn't it? It's got lumbar support.
扔了 Bin it.
人们不喜欢他们的公务员太舒服 People don't like their politicians to be comfortable.
他们不喜欢你们有贵重的东西 他们不喜欢你们有工资 They don't like you having expenses, they don't like you being paid,
他们巴不得你们妈的住在山洞里 they'd rather you lived in a fucking cave.
好了 我知道了 那我应该坐什么样的椅子？ Okay, fine. So, what should I be sitting on?
我应该去KFC搞一个全家桶翻过来坐着对吧？ Should I just get an upturned KFC bucket?
一个傻逼的普通的椅子就行 Just a fucking normal chair. Right?
而不是什么操蛋的巨大的能震动的王座 Not a fucking massive vibrating throne.
马尔科姆肯定不喜欢这样 GLENN: Malcolm must be hating this.
他讨厌这些光鲜的新部长们 All these bright, fresh new ministers to blood in and to plan a by-election.
如果我能给你一点安慰的话 If it's any consolation to you, a little bit of you
我只能说她坐的是你的椅子 will always be in this department because she's nabbed your chair.
对吧？她抢了你的椅子上面还有你的头屑 Hasn't she? She's got your chair, and in fact your dandruff.
哈哈哈哈 如果我离职 我会把椅子带走 Ha, ha, ha. If I go, that chair is coming with me.
你知道那些在公园里读报纸的老年人吗？ You know those old men you see who go to the park to read the paper?
你就是那些老年人中的一员 你可以坐在你的椅子上读报纸 That'll be you. You could go in your chair.
会让你看起来是这些流浪汉中的国王 They'd make you king of all the tramps.
你有三个孩子对吧？ So, uh, you got three kids, yeah?
-我有四个 -四个？ - I've got four. Yeah. - Four?
最大的孩子凯特16岁了 她刚离开学校 Katie's 16, she's the eldest. She's just left school.
不去上大学吗？ Not going to a college, to university?
-不去 她有点叛逆 -哪种叛逆？ - Uh, she's a bit of a rebel. - What sort of a rebel?
我告诉你我们为什么要谈这个 I mean, so what are we talking here?
是那种肚脐穿孔或者 在巴基斯坦训练营度假那种叛逆吗？ Are we talking a pierced navel or holidays at Pakistani training camp?
她吸过海洛因 It's chiefly heroin.
不过在跟那个尼日利亚走私的人有了孩子之后 Although she has cut down since
就戒掉了 getting pregnant by that Nigerian people-smuggler,
因为这个标记会影响她的色情照片拍摄 because the track marks would have affected her porn career.
抱歉打扰你们 I'm sorry to disturb. Um...
-早，马尔科姆 -早，泰瑞 - Morning, Malcolm. - Morning, Terri.
给您 Just wanted to give you a few things here.
早上水果沙拉的找钱 That's change from the fruit salad.
还有今天的报纸 打扰了 This is this morning's paper. Do excuse me.
你居然没有对我进行过资格审查 I'm surprised that you haven't vetted me,
我以为你会知道我孩子们的事 I thought you'd know about the kids.
那是因为 It's just that 'cause you were just a sort of, you were a bit of
你的任命太晚了 - a late-ish kind of appointment. - Mmm.
他们还没来得及给我时间去 That didn't quite give me the time to, you know,
操蛋地调查 像罗伯特罗宾森说的那样 to fuck the I's and fist the T's, as Robert Robertson might say.
我听说她好像还带来了另外一个人过来 Sounds to me like that she's only bringing in one other person, so,
我在想 她会不会一直留着我们 you know, I wonder whether she might keep one of us on permanently.
谢天谢地我会留下来 我是安全的 TERRl: Thank God I'm safe.
-泰瑞 我们都知道你是安全的 好吗 我们知道你是安全的 Gee, we know you're safe, Terri! How do we know you're safe?
因为你一直在说着“安全” We know you're safe because you keep using the word "safe",
跟他么那个演员吉姆鲍文一样 like bloody Jim Bowen.
（模仿吉姆鲍文）是啊 你有DoSac文件 是安全的 Yeah, you've got DoSAC, that's safe.
你想去财政部吗？小妞？ Do you want to go for the treasury, young lady?
沃尔顿夫人 Okay. Mrs Walton.
其他孩子呢？都多大？ What about these other kids? What ages are they?
一个11岁 一个9岁 一个5岁 They're 11, nine and five.
-11岁？-是啊 - 11? - Mmm-hmm.
在上中学吗？ So that's, uh, secondary school?
不 还在上小学 州立小学 No, she's still at primary, state primary.
一个很可爱的小学校 就是成绩不好 Lovely little school with terrible SATS results,
但是你知道她也不差 她的乐队很优秀的 but, you know, really good kind of broad demographic and steel band.
她是在今年9月上初中吗？ So, she will be going to a secondary school, what, in September?
是啊 Yeah, yeah. So, um...
我看出来这是怎么回事了 她的学校不是问题 I... I can see where this is going. Um, it's not an issue.
好极了！这不是问题！我他么就是吃饱了撑的对吧 Great! If it's not an issue I'll just fucking toddle off, then.
我要去盖上我的羽绒被 好好休息 I'll go and have a nice relaxing wee sleep under my duvet.
可能都不用把自己拽进被子里 Probably won't even have to tug myself off
因为你的事让我太他妈轻松了 'cause I'm so fucking relaxed about that.
因为我知道你没有任何问题 是吗？ 'Cause I know that there is no fucking issue here. Right?
她不会去综合性学校 马尔科姆 She's not going to the comprehensive, Malcolm.
她会上一个当地的私立学校 She's going to a local independent school.
靠 Jesus H fucking Corbett.
你真的以为 Do you honestly think...
一个部长可以这样做吗？ Do you honestly believe that as a minister you can get away with that?
你在说所有当地的州立学校 You are saying that all your local state schools,
这个政府大力改良的所有的学校 all the schools that this government has drastically improved
都是他妈的被刀砍了脑残的强奸犯的庇护所 这还不是什么大事？ are knife-addled rape sheds, and that's not a big story?
他妈的 你要么解决这个问题要么放弃学校 For fuck's sake! Sort it or abort it!
我们把话说明白 我的家庭不应该在讨论范围内 好吗？ Let's get this clear. My family is off limits. All right?
这个工作不应该对我的丈夫和孩子们有任何影响 This job is not going to get anywhere near my husband and my kids.
-不应该 -当然他妈的有影响了 - It just doesn't. - Of course it fucking does.
就像条形码或者每一根你腋下的腋毛一样 As per the wee barcode and the serial number under your right armpit,
你是由这个国家造就的 你属于这个国家 you are now built and owned by the state.
你要一天24小时在聚光灯下 亲爱的！ And you are under the spotlight 24 hours a day, darling!
你知道你是什么吗？ You know what you are?
你他妈就是一个人形靶子 You're a fucking human dartboard.
人们向你投掷数以百万的飞镖 And Eric fucking Bristow's on the oche flinging a million darts
用大便做的飞镖 扔向你 made of human shit right at you.
你能明白吗 你明白吗 Can you take that? Can you?
好好好 你跟我吹胡子瞪眼睛 Okay, look. You, the all-swearing eye.
你甚至都不知道我有几个小孩 这种问题你都需要问我 You didn't even know how many kids I had. You had to ask me.
到底谁才是需要认清自己是在媒体面前工作的人？ So who on earth in the press is going to even know or care?
你记得那个节目《丰盛的早餐》吗？ Do you remember The Big Breakfast?
-你记得这个节目吗？-记得 - Remember that programme? - Yes!
你记得克里斯埃文斯是怎么开始的吗？ 你记得这个节目有多成功吗？ Remember how Chris Evans started that? Do you remember it was a big success?
他们找到了那个叫沃恩的家伙 记得沃恩吗？ And then they had that guy johnny Vaughan, remember him?
-记得 -大家都喜欢沃恩 - Uh-huh. - Everybody loved him.
鬼知道为啥 但是大家就是喜欢他 你知道我们这里是什么吗？ Fuck knows why but they loved him. Do you know what this is here?
这就是他妈的第十季《丰盛的早餐》系列 This here is fucking series 10 of The Big Breakfast.
你知道你是什么吗？你他妈就是服务员 And do you know what you are? You're the fucking dinner lady
你就是那个他们找来参加这个节目的人 that they have asked to come and present the show.
我不知道你和你孩子 The reason I didn't know about you and your children
是因为你在这份工作候选人名单上的位置 is 'cause you were so low down
太靠后了 on the list of candidates for this job,
我都没有这个机会去注意你 I didn't even have the chance to look into you.
特别靠后 So low.
这么 这么 这么 靠后 Way, way, way, way, way, way, way low.
你现在要仔细检查你穿的什么 戴的什么 说的什么 You are now being scrutinised for what you wear, what you say.
因为你的头发 你的鞋子 For your hair, your shoes,
你的傻逼耳环 你的傻逼裙子的开叉 your fucking earrings, your fucking cleavage and your dress,
都要注意 还有 你声音太大了 which, by the way, is way too loud.
声太大？ Too loud?
是 我他妈都被你震得耳鸣了！ Yeah, I'm getting fucking tinnitus here!
听着 你那个傻逼老公的事情 我可以搞定 Look. Your crooked husband I can make go away.
但是你那个傻逼老公加上你那个愁人的 But your crooked husband combined with you being worried about
不知道从哪个逃课的混蛋那里回家的 your underage daughter coming home up the duff
未成年女儿 我搞不定 from some truanting bastard, I cannot.
她必须去综合性中学 She goes to the comp, okay?
哦 我的天呐 Oh, God.
你 对 格伦 还有欧利 泰瑞 Um, you, Glenn, yes. And or Olly. Terri!
-我们简单碰一下头 -谈得怎么样 - Just a quick update, really. - How did it go?
很好 很积极 我们都知道对方的意思了 It was all very positive, we sort of know where we all stand now.
你们知道的PFI的事情 不是问题 马尔科姆能搞定 The PFI thing you know about, is not a problem, Malcolm's fine.
我告诉他的第二件事 Second little thing I've just apprised Malcolm of
是我11岁的女儿 要去一个私立学校 is that my 11 -year-old daughter will be going to a private school.
卧槽！对不起 Oh, for fuck's sake! Sorry.
对 这是一个私人事务 我又不是教育部部长 Okay. It's a personal issue. I'm not Education Secretary so...
你也不会是 Nor will you be.
对于一个国家部长 说好听点 您这是政治自杀 Secretary of State, with respect, this is political suicide.
好吧 非常感谢你的建议 格伦 All right. Well, thank you very much for your support, Glenn.
也许我希望有个能绕开这个的办法 Perhaps I was hoping there might be a way around it.
没有什么办法能绕开 这就像多佛（英国城市） Sorry, there is no way around it, it's horrible. It's a bit like Dover.
如果你要去法国 你就必须经过多佛 You know, if you want to go to France, you've got to go through it.
其实你可以不必经过多佛去法国 Well, you don't have to go through Dover to get to France.
你可以经过威茅斯 朴茨茅斯 有很多方式... You can go through Weymouth, Portsmouth, there's plenty...
我不想去多佛 我不想去他妈的多佛或者法国！ I don't want to go to Dover. I don't want to go to fucking Dover or France!
我只想我的女儿能开心地上学 I just want my daughter to be happy at school.
哦 那好极了 Great, well that's good, that's, that's excellent.
这话信息量很大啊 That's a super message to send out,
意思是你是有原则的 你... shows you've got principles, it's the kind of thing you could be...
滚 欧利 别扯没用的 For fuck's sake, Olly, there's no point
跟她说些有用的行吗 telling her just what she wants to hear, is there?
泰瑞？ NICOLA: So, Terri?
什么事？抱歉 但是私人问题不在我的工作范围内 Uh, yes? I'm sorry but personal issues are not my brief.
好吧 谢谢你 Okay, thank you for that.
还有这个椅子 有腰椎支撑的椅子 得扔了 马尔科姆要求扔了 Um, the chair, the lumbar chair, has to go in the skip, Malcolm insisted.
-哦，好 -别现在扔 我还有事要做 - Oh, okay. - Not now, cause I've got work to do.
如果你能找到其他人 But if you can get somebody...
如果你坐好椅子 你就变成了萨达姆 Apparently, if you have a nice chair it turns you into Saddam Hussein.
整个大楼都充满了卷心菜的味道 This entire building smells of coleslaw.
哈 第一次内阁会议 Ah, so, first cabinet meeting.
-是啊 -感觉如何？ - Yes. - How do you feel?
焦虑？紧张？担忧？ Anxious? Nervous? Worried?
可能她在你说了焦虑 紧张 担忧之后反倒有这些感觉了 Well, she probably wasn't until you said, "Anxious? Nervous? Worried?"
你好像在给安定做广告 Now you're an advert for Tamazepam.
如果我讨厌外交部长 会不会很糟糕？ If I'm sick all over the Foreign Secretary, would that look bad?
不会 他在第一次会议的时候拉了自己一身 No, Geoffrey Howe shat himself on his first morning.
欧利 别这样说 Olly, please!
我知道那些东西肯定会非常无聊... Well, I find that kind of tomfoolery very tiresome...
抱歉 泰瑞 司机叫什么名字？ Sorry, Terri, what's the driver's name?
如果你记得他们的名字 会让你显得更有人味 It always makes you look more human if you know their name
-我是人所以... -叫猫王 - and I am human, so... - It's Elvis.
-别开玩笑 他叫什么？-我没开玩笑 就叫猫王 - Seriously, what's his name? - No, it's Elvis.
他是从乌克兰来的 He's from the Ukraine, you see.
没人能发出他真名的发音 And nobody can pronounce the real name
为了发音方便 我们就叫他猫王了 so they call him Elvis on account of the...
(MIMICS ELVIS) # Uh-huh-huh #（模拟猫王）
-什么啊？-自己看 - What? - Take a peek.
(EXHALING)
你怎么了 Hey, what's wrong with you?
你看起来像一个乐高玩具车库 You look like you've shat a Lego garage or something.
吉姆莱恩的女儿作为独立候选人 在利明顿温泉镇宣布参选了 Jim Lane's daughter is standing as an independent in Leamington Spa.
他妈的！ For fuck's sake.
-靠！这会分散我们的选票！ -你觉得我们有麻烦了吗？ - Fuck! This is going to split our vote. - Do you think we're in trouble?
也许我们要选择她 而不是利亚姆本特利 Maybe we should have chosen her over Liam Bentley.
不 她以为她那个当国会议员的老爹 No, she thinks just because her dead fat-arse dad was the MP,
给了她权利当候选人 不行不行 that gives her the right to be our candidate. No, no, no.
这不是沙皇俄国 也不是丁布尔比的俄罗斯纪录片 This isn't tsarist Russia. It's not the fucking Dimblebys.
-那我们怎么办？-我们把人都派出去 - What do we do? - We send everyone up there
去支持利亚姆本特利 首相也去 to support Liam Bentley, including the Prime Minister.
你想派汤姆去？ You want to send Tom up there?
对 靠 他只要不笑就会一切顺利 Yeah, fuck it, he'll be all right as long as he doesn't do the smile.
你去打电话吧 You hit the phones, right?
我马上就到 I'll be with you in two shakes of a crying baby.
-哇哦 黑寡妇 -马尔科姆 - Wow. Black widow. - Malcolm.
恭喜你呀 第一次内阁会议 我听说你让他们很惊艳啊 Congratulations. First cabinet. I heard you wowed them.
会议确实刚结束 你怎么知道的？ The meeting's literally just finished, how would you know that?
首相给我发了短信 他对你印象非常深刻 PM texted me, he's very impressed.
你可能被提名为最佳新人 You could be nominated for best newcomer.
-真的？ -假的 - Really? - No.
你知道吉姆莱恩吧？狗娘养的 就不能消停一会 You knew Jim Lane, didn't you? The dead fucker. God rest him.
知道 我在家做了些背景了解 Yeah, I did, a bit, back home.
那几周全靠命撑着 特悲催 Very sad, all those weeks on life support.
椅子不错 悲催？ - Nice chair. - Sad?
躺着通过一个管子补充营养 悲催吗？ What, lying on your back getting fed nutrients through a tube?
我放假的时候就他妈这样 It's my idea of a fucking holiday.
你想怎么去利明顿？ How would you like to go to Leamington?
-什么时候去？-今天上午 - When? - This morning.
现在去都不算早 It's never too soon to go to Leamington.
我刚刚接管了一个部门 我他妈的还要... I've just taken over a department, I have a hell of a...
首相钦点你马上去利明顿 You've been asked by the PM specifically to pop along to Leamington
别忘了跟利亚姆本特利拍些合影 and do some photo ops with Liam Bentley.
支持他 好吗？ Supporting him, yeah?
-我有别的选择吗？-你当然有别的选择 - I don't really have any choice, do I? - Of course you have a choice.
你可以选择怎样说“好“ You can decide exactly how you say yes.
你可以选择你喜欢的声音 玩得开心 You can do it with a voice. Have fun with it.
好 用我自己的声音说 Yes. In my own voice.
我等你回来给你庆功 I look forward to toasting your success.
-在利明顿过得愉快哈 -我能走了吗？ - Have a lovely time in Leamington, yeah? - Can I go?
当然你可以滚了 Of course you can fucking go.
靠 没有一件事他妈省心 Jesus. Never easy. Never fucking easy.
嗨 请进 - Yeah, hi. Come in. - Um, hi.
呃 Um, yeah.
-格伦 -格伦？ - Glenn. - Glenn...
你怎么看格伦？ What do you think of Glenn?
感觉像问我怎么看墙的踢脚线 Well, it's sort of like asking what I think of skirting boards?
感觉我们好像需要 但并不知道为啥需要的东西 I mean, I assume that we need them but I'm not really sure why.
我觉得格伦很老派 I'm finding him very old-school.
对 简直是老古董 Well, yes. Well, he's ancient-school, really, Glenn.
他以前还在他的午餐包装上刻上“柏拉图” I mean, he used to get his packed lunch nicked by Plato, he's an old...
好吧 我希望你能跟我去利明顿 So, um, I'd like you to come up to Leamington with me.
哦 好极了 Oh, great, yeah. Well, it's, uh...
这是我最喜欢的温泉城市 It's my favourite of the spa towns.
呃 在所有其他温泉城市中 Erm, apart from all the others, so...
好吧 你可以叫泰瑞进来了 Okay, lovely. So if you could just get, uh, Terri in, please.
好 Sure.
-泰瑞 -什么事？ - Terri. - Yeah?
叫你呢 - You're on.
什么？ What?
你们两个特种兵 在里面谈什么？ What were you and Bravo Two Zero talking about in there?
-谁？-她 在里面那个她 - Who? - Her, you know. Her in there.
（海湾战争期间英国特种部队执行任务的代号） Bravo Two Zero.
我不知道那是什么意思 格伦 Well, I don't know what that means, Glenn.
你知道的 好吧 我其实指的是朱丽叶布拉沃 Yes, you do. No, I don't mean that. I mean Juliet Bravo.
你把我搞糊涂了 格伦 You've completely lost me, Glenn. I really...
朱丽叶布拉沃 她是一个女警察 juliet Bravo! She was a lady policeman.
一个 女...女警察？ (CHUCKLES) A lady... A lady policeman?
这三十年你在哪呢？ Did the last 30 years not happen to you?
-什么？-你是不是一直睡在一个都是稻草的箱子里 - What? - Have you been asleep
就像蓝彼得的乌龟那样（英国一档儿童节目） in a box full of straw like a Blue Peter tortoise?
还女警察 (MOCKINGLY) Lady policeman.
我叫欧利跟我一起去利明顿 I've asked Olly to come up to Leamington with me.
-欧利？-是啊 - Olly? - Yeah.
我跟格伦一直沟通不顺畅 I can't really connect with Glenn.
呃... Um...
你认为我不应该让欧利跟我去？ You think I shouldn't have asked Olly?
-不不 我不是那个意思 -你的脸上就写着这个意思 - No, no, I didn't say that. - You sort of did with your face.
不是的 欧利有很多优点 No, no. Olly has got plenty of good points, it's just he's...
就是他品质上有一点亏欠 还有很自我为中心 Well, he's a little bit morally bankrupt and massively self-centred
还有一点 不靠谱 and a tiny bit dangerously unreliable.
但是他有很多优点 就像我说的 But he has got a lot of good points, as I say.
好吧 谢谢 你能把格伦叫来吗？ Great, well, thank you. Can you just send, send Glenn in for me?
格伦 尼克拉找你 Glenn. Nicola would like to see you.
(CLEARS THROAT)
-嗨 格伦 请坐 -谢谢 - Hi, Glenn, take a seat. - Oh, thank you.
-你以前没在零售业工作过 对吧？-从来没有 - You ever worked in retail, Glenn? - No, never have.
哦 就是 Oh, just...
你怎么看待泰瑞？你信任她吗？ Um, so what do you think of Terri? Do you trust her?
-不相信 -好吧 - No. - Right.
她刚才跟我说跟欧利相比 她更喜欢你 'Cause she just told me she sort of prefers you to Olly.
我说我不相信她 When I say I don't trust her...
(CLEARS THROAT)
我指的是 关于钱方面的 What I mean is I don't trust her around money.
真的假的？哎呀 她偷东西吗 Really? Blimey, what, she steals?
不不不不 我不是那个意思 No, no, no, no. I'm not saying anything like that.
她刚给我买水果沙拉找的零钱特别少 不会（多拿了吧） 'Cause actually I got very little change from my fruit salad so...
不不不不 让我从头开始 No, no, no. Let me just row back a little bit here.
条条大路通罗马 Perhaps, um, all the way to the boathouse.
我信任泰瑞 Actually, I do trust Terri.
好吧 Okay.
-你的椅子不见了 -是啊 - Your chair's gone. - Oh, yes, yeah.
马尔科姆坚持让我扔了它 I had to bin it. Malcolm insisted.
-但那是我的椅子 -以前是你的椅子 - But it was my chair. - Oh, right, I... It was...
这个椅子看上去太颓废了 格伦 会让人发疯 It was decadent, Glenn. It was a chair gone mad.
你知道扔到哪里去了吗？ Do you know where it's gone?
换个话题 ...Skip.
-有没有...-换个话题 - Is this a... - Skip.
我...我对你的损失很抱歉 I'm-I'm rea... I'm sorry for your loss.
我买那个椅子花了600英镑 I paid £600 for that chair.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
她的头发怎么样？ TERRl: (ON PHONE) How's her hair?
泰瑞 你应该高兴 Terri, you'll be delighted to know that the Secretary of State is now
她拿我的眼镜片当镜子 看头发 checking her hair in my glasses.
-你们现在已经在电视直播了 -现在？ - You're on TV live. - What, now?
对 现在已经开始了 You're on now, apparently.
你为什么蹲下来？ TERRl: Why are you squatting down?
她在那 马尔科姆 尼克拉马上就出现了 GLENN: Ah, there she is. Malcolm. Nicola will be there in a minute.
现在你在镜头里了 欧利 No, you're in the shot, actually, Olly.
为什么我会在镜头里？ Why am I in the shot?
-尼克拉莫莉！ -谢谢 - BENTLEY: Nicola Murray! - Thank you.
大家好 我很高兴能见到一些 Hi, everybody. Well, um, I'm very pleased to see
熟悉的面孔 你好 a number of familiar faces here. Hello!
-她很擅长与人打交道 -是啊 - Isn't she good with the people? - Yes, she is.
那又怎样？凯特桑顿也是 她还是战争狂人呢 But then, so is Kate Thornton and she's wanted for war crimes.
女士们先生们 让我们来看一下利亚姆本特利的竞选海报 Ladies and gentlemen, let's take a look at Liam Bentley's election poster.
莫莉女士 你认为你丈夫在PFI监狱合同中的卷入 REPORTER: Mrs Murray, do you feel your husband's involvement
会不会对你的工作有一些影响？ in the PFI prisons contract compromises your position?
这个嘛 我到这里 是来支持利亚姆本特利的 Well, I'm just here to support Liam Bentley.
你不认为其中有利益冲突吗？ REPORTER: You don't feel there's a conflict of interest?
不 我不认为 No, I really don't.
-漂亮 -她应付得很好 马尔科姆 - Excellent. - She's handling this very well, Malcolm.
你不这么认为吗？ Don't you think?
你会辞职吗 部长？ REPORTER: Are you going to resign, Minister?
哦你个傻逼 闭嘴吧 GLENN: Oh shut up, you twat!
我认为 人们对 NICOLA: ... and I think they're interested also
社会提供的机遇会更感兴趣 in greater opportunities for social...
-看上去不错啊 欧利 -她看上有点 - Looking terrific, Olly. - She's a little bit...
-怎么了？ -有点太靠边了 - What? Sorry? - A little bit edgy.
你能让尼克拉正好站在中间吗？ TERRl: Can you please make sure Nicola's right in the middle?
她看边上显得不够重要 你过去让她动一下位置 She doesn't look important enough. Can you just move her over?
-您可以到这里来吗？-这儿？ - Could you move for a second? - Right here?
很好！ TERRl: Perfect! Perfect.
-这样看上去好极了 -不！不要！ - That looks terrific. - GLENN: No, no, no. No!
天哪 泰瑞 那些字（我是弯的） Jesus, Terri! The letters!
-看上去没问题啊 -那些字 是什么意思 泰瑞？ TERRl: That's great there. GLENN: What does it say, Terri?
-利亚姆本特利啊 -不 不是 - It says Liam Bentley. - No, it doesn't.
镜头里那些字他妈的不是这个意思！ Not there, it fucking doesn't!
退后一点 到你刚才的位置 尼克拉 PHOTOGRAPHER: Move back where you were, please, Nicola.
好的 Uh, okay.
这绝对是热点了 This is obviously the hot spot.
好吧 如果你把这个画面剪一下 TERRl: Well okay, if you crop the...
对呀如果剪一下的话...马尔科姆！ GLENN: Of course, if you crop. Malcolm!
你们尽力了 你们真的尽力了 You tried. You really tried.
-你们已经做到最好了 -我们应该做的 - Did your best, mate. - Very happy with it.
-你们都是 已经很好了 -谢谢 - You both did your best. - Thanks.
微笑~ PHOTOGRAPHER: Big smile!
嗨亲爱的 你在电视上看见妈妈了吗？ Hi, darling. Did you see Mummy on the telly?
我知道 我看起来很好笑吗？ (LAUGHS) I know, did I look funny?
是的 写着“我是弯的” It did, good boy. It said, "I am bent."
-你看过这个...呃... -看过了 - Have you, um... - Yes.
我们现在不予置评 TERRl: We're currently in a no-commenting situation.
(ALL TALKING AT ONCE)
现在已经变成官方的麻烦了吗 Is this now official nuisance calling?
好极了 有人刚把我传到了YouTube上 Great. Someone's just sent me a YouTube clip
就是我在那个“我是弯的”标语前面 which is me, in front of the "I am bent" sign
跟《居家男人》里的镜头一起剪辑 randomly intercut with bits from Family Guy.
这一点都不好笑 为什么会有人他妈的在YouTube上传这个啊 It's not even funny! Why do people fucking do that on YouTube?
好了 我们总结经验 我们从中成熟 Look, let's learn and grow from this experience.
你可以列一个站在前面容易 引起这种情况的单词黑名单了 We can make a blacklist of words you should never stand in front of,
万一下次再遇到类似的场合 in case the press get to do something like that.
-孔雀 -对 孔雀 - Peacock. - Peacock, of course.
羽毛球 鸡肉 所有带cock（屌）的字眼 Shuttlecock. Spatchcock. Anything cock, really.
你知道民谣歌手 吉姆哈丁吗？ Do you remember that folk singer, Tim Hardin?
你现在也能唱“我很坚强”了（我硬了） Well, you'd be able to get "I'm hard" out of that.
淡水垂钓 如果剪辑出来会是“屁股鱼” Coarse fishing, that could be "arse fish" if you crop that.
还有步话机 剪出来两个“醉鬼” And walkie-talkie could be cropped to say alkie, twice.
根本就没有步话机这种口号 There are no walkie-talkie...
为什么我要站在“步话机”这个口号前面？ Why would I stand in front of a walkie-talkie sign?
Malkie-Malkie. 也可以是马尔基尔
Well, you know, Howard, she's not bent, 你知道的 霍华德 她不是弯的
不管在腐败上还是性取向上 都不是弯的 neither in the sense of being corrupt or being gay.
还有 那是一个非常恐同的标题 And by the way, that's an incredibly homophobic headline, you massive poof.
用这个标题你会被人扔鸡蛋的 霍华德 You've got egg on your face, Howard. You over-easy pissbag.
嘿 小野洋子和另外两个披头士 滚出去 Oh, hey, Yoko Ono and the two remaining Beatles, piss off.
好了 我们现在可以跳过那些乱七八糟的 Right. Any chance we could just skip over the usual abuse bit
来说说我们现在面临的问题吗？ and move on to the part where we sort this out?
好啊 你需要做一个决定 Yeah. You need to make a decision.
你还想让你的女儿去私立学校吗？ Are you still going ahead with the private school? Because if you are,
因为如果你坚持 我们就需要起草一份你老公离职的声明 we need to draft a statement saying that your husband is leaving his job.
你在搞笑吗？ Are you taking the piss?
你是让我他妈在我老公的前途 You're expecting me to choose between
和我女儿的前途中间做选择？ fucking up my daughter's life and fucking up my husband's life?
-是的 -所以我必须二选一？ - Yeah. - So I just have to choose between them,
跟他妈在甜品车前选择甜品一样？ like they're on some fucking cosmic dessert trolley?
听着 亲爱的 我不可能两线作战 你知道吧？ Listen, darling, I can't fight on two fronts, you know?
如果这两方面都压力重重 你他妈就死定了 If the press run with both these stories, you're fucking dead.
这是你故意的吧？你设计我？ You set this up, didn't you?
-什么？-是你让我落到这步田地的 - What? - To put me in my place?
然后又来怪我当时忽视了你的意见？ Or get back at me for ignoring your advice?
或者其他微不足道的毫无意义的东西 Or some other weird perceived slight that doesn't in any way merit
搞一些驴唇不对马嘴的回答 this massive fucking out-of-proportion Israeli-style response.
你还不清楚 我他妈是你最有利的支持者 You don't realise, I'm your fucking fairy godfather, right?
-天哪 -我他妈是你的教父 - Jesus. God help me. - I'm your fairy fucking godfather.
而且我没有仙女棒可以挥 But I haven't got a magic wand that I can wave about,
我他妈只有一个黑莓手机 还有一瓶芝华士酒 I've got a fucking Blackberry and a chiv.
你需要做决定 我回头再跟你聊 You've got a decision to make, you make it. Talk to you later.
马尔科姆 对不起 我们能继续刚才的话题吗？ Malcolm. Sorry, can we just carry on talking about that thing?
是你让我落到这步田地的吗？ Was it you who positioned me there?
你知道神经病的第一个预兆是什么吗？妄想症 Do you know what the first sign of madness is? Paranoia.
你看过《美丽心灵》吗？ Have you seen that film, you know, A Beautiful Mind?
拉塞尔克劳演的那个电影 The one with that Russell Crowe.
那个搞数学的家伙认为美国中央情报局在 The one with the maths guy who thinks that the CIA
他花园地下做了一个通道的那个 就是你 are working away in a shed at the bottom of his garden. That's you.
不不 这里那个疯子不是我 No. I am not the mad one here.
你才是那个疯子 你是拉塞尔克劳 You are the mad one. You're Russell Crowe.
我不是 你是拉塞尔克劳 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You are Russell Crowe.
你他妈现在需要听我说 拉塞尔！ And you need to fucking listen to me, Russell,
你个喜欢袋鼠水果蛋糕的傻逼 you fucking Antipodean fucking kangaroo-loving fruitcake.
看见这次海报的事件了吗？这只是一个开胃小菜 See, this poster stuff? That's fucking small fry.
俄国人 我的老伙计 That's fucking whitebait, Russ, me old cobber.
他们才是最恐怖的大餐 The really horrible stuff,
这都是会发生在你身上的 明白吗？ that's all still about to happen to you, right?
好了 进电梯 我们接着谈 Right, you're coming in here so we can carry this on?
-现在吗？-如果你现在有时间的话 - What, now? - Lf you can spare the time.
哦 不行 Uh, no.
我不能...不能用电梯 我有幽闭恐惧症 I... No. I can't... I don't use lifts, I'm claustrophobic.
(LIFT BELL DINGING)
-你有什么？？-不是很严重 - You're what? - Not hugely.
我能待在屋子里 你也看到了 我只是不能坐电梯 I can be in rooms, you've seen that. I just don't do lifts, that's all.
这个电梯 很他妈大好吗？ But this lift is... I mean, it's fucking huge!
比很多房间都大 比很多人住的公寓都大了 I mean, this is bigger than some rooms, this is bigger than some people's flats.
-不是大小的问题 是能不能出来的问题 -好极了 太好了 - It's about not being able to get out. - Oh, well, that's great.
真他妈的好啊 这又出来另一个问题了 That's fucking great. That's another fucking thing right there.
你不只有一个傻逼老公 Not only have you got a fucking bent husband and a fucking daughter
和要坐轿子上学的傻逼女儿 that gets taken to school on a fucking sedan chair,
你自己他妈的还有精神问题 you're also fucking mental.
天哪 看看你 Jesus Christ. See, you,
你就是一个360度拖后腿的 you are a fucking omni-shambles, that's what you are.
你就像那个咖啡机 你知道吗？ You're like that coffee machine, you know,
从豆到杯 你真悲催 "From bean to cup, you fuck up."
-他才是拉塞尔克劳 -谁？ - He so is Russell Crowe. - TERRl: Who?
尼克拉 我就是想跟你说 我... Nicola, I did want to tell you that I...
我已经很尽力得提醒欧利了 I did try to get a message through to Olly...
-我知道 -我以前也这样 - I know. - I've been doing this,
我的意思是 你知道 you know, a long time now. By which I mean, you know,
以往的经验表明 女人不狠地位不稳 in an experienced, firm-hand-on-the-tiller sort of way.
不是说那种 呃 年老的那种 Not in a, you know, clapped-out, over-the-hill kind of way.
-好了我知道了 -我会学着当心 - Yeah, I know. - I've learnt to look out
对媒体这些事情我已经进化出声呐雷达了 for these sort of things and I have developed a kind of
像蝙蝠那样 sonar for them now, like a bat.
格伦 你想要 Glenn, do you want to...
你想要留下来吗？这样我就能用你的声呐了 Do you want to maybe stay on? I could use that sonar.
-像蝙蝠侠那样！-没错 - Batty man. - Right!
原谅我 我觉得那是牙买加俚语同性恋的意思 Uh, forgive me. I think that's jamaican slang for "homosexual".
是 我刚才也在想这个事情 真的很抱歉 Yes, I was thinking that as I said it, I'm really sorry.
-我没当真 -好好好 - I didn't... - No, no, no, no.
-好 -好 - Right. - Okay.
(SMIRKS)
我下来了 一会门口见 猫王 NICOLA: I'm on my way down. See you by the front door, Elvis.
-你决定了吗？-哦 我靠 - Have you decided? - Oh, shit.
决定了 马尔科姆 你知道我已经决定了 Yes, Malcolm, you know I have.
我在你跟我说我需要做决定的那一瞬间 就决定了 I decided the minute you told me I had to decide.
-我要给我女儿艾拉换学校 -很好 - I'm going to change Ella's schools. - Good for you.
我会推进你那个关于社会流动性的事情 Listen, I'm going to try and get your social mobility thing moving.
我会跟内阁大臣谈 I talked to the Chancellor.
我需要把所有的炸弹都消音 你知道我的工作 I'm gonna really keep banging away at it, you know,
像查尔斯霍特里（英国演员 ）让卫兵睡着那样 like Charles Hawtrey on a sleeping guardsman.
好吧 她... Okay. I mean, she's...
-我女儿很聪明 -然后呢？ - She's very bright, so... - Yeah?
人们说如果你很聪明 They say if you're very bright
你在哪里上学都不重要 then it sort of doesn't matter what school you go to.
是这样 That's true.
真的是这样 That is very true. Hey!
回见 国家的教育者 See you later, state educator.
这是一个很贵的有腰椎支撑的椅子 GLENN: It's a highly expensive lumbar support chair, for God's sake.
别傻了 那不可能在废纸回收站好吗？ Oh, don't be ridiculous. I mean, that's paper recycling,
我不会去那找的 it's not going to be there, is it?
我明天早上给你们打电话 I'm going to call you in the morning
如果你们不在 那就等着吧 and if you're not there, you're in big trouble.
格伦 Glenn,
这个狄更斯式的歇斯底里患者 刚刚回家了 see this Dickensian hysteric who's just gone home?
这是你要做的 Here's what you do, right?
你像奥兹（《绿野仙踪》里的魔法师）一样 You make like the great Oz, yeah?
你费尽心思让尼克拉印象深刻 You make a big noise to impress Nicola.
但私下里 你要在窗帘后对着我打手枪 But secretly, you're wanking behind the curtain to me all the time.
你希望我给你通风报信？ You want me to pass information to you?
别杀死你自己 除此之外都可以 Don't kill yourself, though. Well, not over this, you know.
我只要你让她感觉很好 你知道吗？ I just want you to make her feel good, you know?
你可以做多萝西的朋友（《绿野仙踪》主人公）对吧？ You can be a friend of Dorothy's, can't you?
然后你们这里就会他妈的安静了 Then we'll all get some fucking peace around here!
好了 我去用尼克罗宾森的照片擦屁股了 Right! I'm away to wipe my arse on pictures of Nick Robinson.
我感觉好极了 能给他梳一个卷毛头 I'm getting good. I can give him a quiff